Reviews and Response

I've been told by more than one person not to respond directly to any of my reviews on Amazon.  It's considered tacky and beneath the writer to do such a thing, even when it's just to thank someone for a good review.  However, no one has ever said it's tacky to respond on your personal blog...so here we are, and I've decided to share a few of my reviews with you, my loyal readers.  I'll also give my response.

Contrary to what you might think, this isn't going to be a congratulatory, pat yourself on the back promotional blog where I commend myself for all my stellar reviews.  I'm going to focus particularly on the negative reviews, of which I've had a few.

I currently have six books for sale on Amazon (one just released yesterday).  To date, I have received 28 reviews on those books.  Of those 28, I received 23 good reviews and 5 bad ones.  One of those five bad reviews was particularly scathing, and was more of a personal attack.  So...my average has been pretty good, but any writer who says he doesn't care about his negative reviews is probably lying.  I guess when you're someone like Stephen King, you don't really give a shit anymore; you have your loyal audience and you've made your fortune.  But those of us who are just starting to get our feet wet in the literary world, we take our reviews (at least somewhat) seriously.

I know that eventually I'm going to get bad reviews.  Every writer does.  Look at the reviews for Stephen King's "Kindle Exclusive" book called "UR."  Terrible.  Even "Hamlet" by Shakespeare has bad reviews, as my friend David pointed out in his rather amusing blog post yesterday.  What I find annoying are that my bad reviews tend to say absolutely nothing and are almost always very poorly written.

Here are my two "1 Star" reviews.  The first one is for my first fiction book, "Interstate 10"

Worse book I have read in ages!
By Johnny-Teague Ross

i just didn't care for this book, the story line was confusing and since i live off i10 i found it to be a little disturbing!    I love a good mystery but this one just doesn't do it for me!

Where do I begin with this one?  First off, I never labeled this book as a "mystery."  It's labeled under "horror" and "supernatural."  Did this guy even read the description?  As a horror writer, if you say that something I wrote was "disturbing," that's actually a compliment.  That's what horror writers want..for YOU to be disturbed.  And you didn't like it because you live near Interstate 10?   Are you serious?  By your logic, I should hate every book that takes place in Texas because I live here.

Here's the other "1 Star" review.  This one is for my second fiction book, "Small Town Evil""

Worse book I have ever read!

By Wendy Zierk

This was THE worse book I have ever read. This. Could have been written by an elementary school student.  Total waste of money.

Are you noticing a pattern here?  Why do my harshest critics not know the difference between "worse" and "worst?"  Her "elementary school" comment would have had more effect if she herself didn't come across as illiterate.  I have some suspicion that this review could be fake, since her account is brand new and my book is the only book she has reviewed.  If my book is the "worse" book she has ever read, clearly she has not read "Desire of Love to Handsome" by Rizzy.

My other negative reviews aren't nearly this bad.  Most of them are actually positive, but the readers are complaining that they are too short.  All I can say is...THEY'RE SHORT STORIES.  They aren't novels.  If I write a novel, I will definitely not be selling it for only 99 cents.  If these negative reviews are as bad as it's going to get, I'm not too worried.  I think the negative review I fear the most is the one that is very well written and takes my story apart piece by piece and explains why they think it sucks.  But at least with that kind of review, you can use the criticism as a tool to help you improve the next time.  These troll reviews, though, are just lame.